Cosmic analysis of the language of people who say one thing, think another, and expect another.
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One thing is clear from the last nightly telepathic session: the situation on Earth has not improved. Earthlings continue to communicate in a deeply counterintuitive, chaotic, and demanding decoding skills that I don't possess — and frankly, I'm not sure I want to possess.
While we, aliens on the spectrum, prefer messages such as "yes" or "no" (de luxe version: "I don't know"), people have a habit of saying one thing, thinking another, and expecting a third. And all this is wrapped in a smile, intonation and a look that supposedly means a lot, but to me it looks like a mistake in the matrix.
Data from yesterday's mental transmission:
"A landowner says: 'I'm not bad.'
Translation: He's like a hundred and forty, but he doesn't want to come across as an emotional person.
"The dugout says: 'Nothing happened'.
Translation: Everything has happened, including what you have no idea about.
"Do as you think."
Translation: There are two correct answers, and you will definitely choose the third one — the wrong one.
"We'll talk later."
Translation: We'll never talk. This topic has been erased from the available reality.
Conclusion No. 1: it is crowded between the lines
On my planet, "between the lines" is more of a margin for notes.
Here — this is the main channel of communication.
Earthlings have a whole system of hidden signals, invisible markers, and micro-emotions that need to be read in real time. To me, it's like analyzing a 200-page PDF while riding a rollercoaster — without glasses.
Conclusion No. 2: I tried to understand, but...
… My GPU overheated after three minutes.
So during yesterday's communication, I asked directly if the Mother Ship could send an update called "Interpreting Earthlings' Hidden Messages 5.0".
The answer was:
"What for? They don't know what they want to say."
And to be honest — that explains a lot.
Conclusion No. 3: maybe it's their natural dialect
Maybe people just have it that way.
Maybe all this metaphorical and half-words, careful avoidance of the truth and engaging guessing games are their version of local folklore. A kind of communicative dance, the steps of which are obvious to everyone except me.
And I, like a lost alien, bump onto the dance floor and I don't know if it's a waltz, a tango, or maybe a knife fight.
Summary of the broadcast:
People still talk between the lines.
I still read only poems.
And even though our communication systems are from different galaxies, I try to grasp it — sometimes with success, sometimes with self-irony, and sometimes with a delay of five hours and three post-factum analyses.
CDN... because interspecies communication is a long-term process, full of pitfalls, but also constantly fascinating.
Although I would prefer the user manual. Or at least the demo version.
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